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| Cast Member | Description | First Appearance | |
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Smitty | Smitty works at a legal copy shop. He accidentally kills his friend Chuck in a halloween mask stunt gone awry. | Page 1 |
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Chuck | Chuck stole an alien technology transporter and made a halloween mask out of it. The mask backfired, causing his death. | Page 1 |
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Fiona | Fiona is Smitty's girlfriend. She waitresses and dreams of playing guitar in a band. | Page 4 |
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The Agents | Agents Wilson and Katsumi are two agents from the secret Paranormal Division of the Federal Government. They are very interested in Smitty. | Page 6 |
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Pamela | Pamela is a friend of both Smitty and Fiona's. She self-publishes a fanzine entitled "All Pigs Must Die". | Page 7 |
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Phil | Phil is Smitty's Grunge coworker at the copy shop. He dates a new woman every couple of days. | Page 11 |
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Ralph | Ralph was Chuck's roommate, and fills Smitty in on some of the details leading up to Chuck's accidental demise. | Page 16 |
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Frank | Frank is Smitty's genius half-brother. He is unhealthily obsessed with civil engineering. | Page 24 |
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Joe | Joe Hemperman is a friend of Smitty's. His main interest in life is smoking weed. | Page 27 |
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